Thoughts on Star Wars: The Force Awakens!

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Ahoy! Thar be spoilers ahead!










Part of me knows this is not a perfect movie. So why did I cry like a child who got a pony on Christmas morning? And I don't mean I cried after Han's death. I mean I cried tears of joy when Rey first flew the Millennium Falcon.


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No, I can't bring myself to criticize this film, or call it on its coincidences and "the force caused it" abuse. Mary Sue me.

Instead, I want to point out a couple things that you may have missed that show how real craftsmen wrote this thing.

Remember the running gag where Han fired Chewie's crossbow-looking blaster for the first time? Several times throughout the movie, Han brightens like me watch Star Wars over this weapon, because it blasts harder than any other gun has blasted. And you think, after a few trips to that well, they're done. Fun bit.

But no. This wasn't a joke for joke's sake. This was exposition, so that later when Chewie shoots Kylo Ren with that blaster, you FEEL how this isn't like the blaster Kylo blocked at the beginning of the film. This is a wound that won't be shrugged off. So Finn can reasonably last a minute in a lightsaber fight. And rookie Rey can win. Plant and payoff, as I've mentioned in another post, masterfully executed.

And remember how Rey and Kylo force fought for the lightsaber, and rookie Rey won? How could rookie Rey beat out Kylo? Well, first, Kylo is groggy from a blaster wound. But also remember, who cares? Rey had sworn she would never touch that lightsaber again. And not only does she touch it when Finn's life is on the line, she force grabs it out of Kylo's hands. Remember how awesome reversals are in movies? Let's review the emotional impact:

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When you make the adult turn into an eight year old kid riding a pony on christmas morning, you are a wookie, and I let you win.

Happy New Year everyone!

Stop Putting Spoilers in Your Damned Headlines and Lead Images, Pajiba

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I'm an avid reader of Pajiba.com. But those days may be numbered if they keep ruining my favorite shows and films. Pajiba, get your act together before Star Wars comes out, or else there will be blood. Here, let me show you how you recap entertainment content correctly. Let's talk about the latest episode of The Leftovers, Ten Thirteen. Spoilers ahead!

First of all, notice how my lead gif doesn't in any way reveal the big twist at the end of this episode. Rather, it communicates how you, Pajiba, make me feel with your recaps. Lots of people like me read your website, scanning for articles they want to read while trying to avoid spoilers INSIDE the articles they DO NOT YET WANT TO READ UNTIL THEY'VE SEEN THE EPISODE/FILM. They expect you to be professional and considerate. After all, you're entertainment bloggers who rail against this sort of thing all the time when movie trailers do it! Remember the trailer to Free Willy?


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Hmmm, I wonder if Willy gets free? THIS IS PRECISELY WHAT YOU ARE DOING.

I'm not saying you can't put spoilers in the full article, of course. Case in point: Ten Thirteen. The Leftovers has been a revelation this whole season, making Ten Thirteen merely amazing until its big reveal in the final minutes. An unspoiled viewer would watch this episode with great apprehension that Meg is about to unleash an old airstream filled with explosives into the "holy" town of Jardin. But guess what's actually in that airstream? Oh, did you open the home page of Pajiba the day after the episode aired? Well, then you already saw the lead image and headline for this article, and will now quickly surmise that the airstream actually holds the town's missing daughters, led by Evie. Here, let me contrast that spoiler with another spoiler-free Leftovers gif which expresses my bemusement:


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Here, Pajiba, check out how io9 and Warming Glow do this, and see how it's done. Love you Pajiba, but if you do this one more time, I'm punting you until January, because you can't be trusted with Luke Skywalker spoilers at all.