The WORST Part in The Martian

Seen The Martian? The WORST, right? Not the whole movie, of course. The movie is FANTASTIC. But that one scene, you know the scene I'm talking about, right?

No, not Kristen Wiig, whom it's not fair to criticize, but she's just so funny that I could not get it out of my head that she was going to Garth and Kat every scene.


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No, I' referring to the Donald-Glover-explains-with-a-STAPLER scene, which is now an awful-movie-cliche that they keep doing over and over because the knuckle-dragger segment of the population needs to be carried over the goal line of clarity, I suppose?



Why does this scene keep happening when the complexity of the exposition doesn't require it?

Yes, we all loved Doc Brown explaining his plan to direct 1.21 gigawatts of lightning power into the Delorean. But that plan had detail and novelty. Here, let's write out the steps:

Run an electrical cable from the clock tower to the street.
Connect the flux capacitor to a giant hook that can transfer power from the electrical cable into the car.
Drive the car at 88 miles per hour, and time the acceleration precisely so that the hook meets the electrical cable at the exact moment of the lightning striking the clock tower.

Now let's write out the steps of the Rich Purnell Maneuver:

The Hermes slighshots around the Earth, picking up supplies on its way back to Mars.

I know that the scene is trying to have fun with Purnell's Aspergers. I know that Donald Glover is awesome. I know that there are younger viewers unfamiliar with the slingshot concept in Apollo 13 and Star Trek 4.

But it just comes off to me like trying to buy genius points on the cheap. This plan wears the clothing of genius, so it must BE genius.

And yet, some day, if I'm lucky, I'll sell my action script with a cool act three crescendo, and I will get a note about how parents don't want to have to explain the logic to their kids, so I will add an act three break down in miniature using grapes, a hamster wheel and a trampoline. I will hate the scene all the way to the bank: These thousand dollar bills barely absorb my tears, have pity!


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